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Popplesnik Peak: A Mountain with Two Sides

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Popplesnik Peak (here seen from the south face) attracts many tourists each year as it is widely believed that if you mount the summit on the full moon whilst carrying 3 small shopping bags of blue lizards, you will be blessed with magnificent hair for thirty-one subsequent moons. However, beware: if any of the lizards are more green than blue, or if the shopping bags are medium sized, or the bags only half full, the bearer will suffer a ragged mane that grows awkward, unsightly tufts at extremely high speeds and needs constant trimming. Naturally the nearest towns are brimming with black market blue lizards, and plagued with lurking hairdressers waiting to pop a turquoise lizard in your bag, or steal half, or switch the bags altogether. Others make their livings performing last minute approval checks on the bags, although some of these are really hairdressers in disguise so guidebooks recommend you check your own.

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Historical Tower, Western Klah

Tower-mysterious-(2)aThe Tower of Conundrumus, and how it came to be in Goatskin Gorge, in the Western forests of Klah, has long been the subject of debate amongst historians and locals. Some insist it was built by Goppenheim Claret, an extremely tall, thin and hygiene conscious man who lived some several hundred years ago, and who apparently used it as a custom-built shower. Others disagree with this theory, arguing that it was obviously constructed by the local village to safely hide their famous plum cake recipe from jealous neighbouring towns, and still others declare it was erected by King Romulus the Romantic, to enable young lovers to hold hands and watch the setting sun. Whatever the tower’s origins, it has certainly come in very useful in several historical battles, notably the Battle of Broomsticks in 1816, where an annual jam competition went horribly wrong and resulted in mass fighting with broomsticks by the participants. Fortunately a young boy had the presence of mind to steal the sought after winners trophy and escape to the tower, holding it at ransom over the edge until peace was restored. The tower is now historically protected, and home to several families of swallows.

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The Earl of Whippet & The Horned Kalook Theory

Jules-Thorpe-Kingdom-Border2May we present to you: The Earl of Whippet, in the Northwest of Klah. The province of Whippet is known for its magnificent forests, home to many unusual creatures – in particular the Horned Kalook, which is so adept with its horn it is able┬áto carve wood with it (note the Earl’s splendid staff). It is believed the forms the Horned Kalook carves are images from its dreams, though this has never been conclusively proved, as the Kalook communicates with a currently indecipherable snorting of the nostrils and stamping of the hooves. The Earl himself, a strong believer in the dream theory, has spent years snorting and stamping back to them in an effort to learn the mysterious language, but so far to no avail.

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The Klah seal of Certification:

The Klah seal of certification:

The wax used in the official Klah seal is made from a rare species of plant native to Klah, the Pimpim waxillis, which secretes the wax as a way to control evaporation and hydration. This is then collected by wax hunters who lie in wait with special jars, and distributed out to select notaries – such as Sir Cecil Slipperfoot, beloved Ambassador of Klah, who certifies all the Kingdom of Klah garments.

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Welcome to the Kingdom of Klah

The Kingdom of Klah is known for many things: their unbeatable Walrus-riding team (possibly unbeatable as they are the only country to partake in the sport), their breed of native singing cats, several unusual national dishes such as “fresh fig & lettuce pie” and “eggs with egg jam”, and of course, the splendid natural scenery of the small island nation, from fierce snowcapped mountains to tropical beaches, lakes with water and trees with leaves. All Hail.