Beretus pompomus, a native funghi of Klah, has made a recent comeback after dwindling numbers led to the establishment of the Beretus Pompomus Protection Society. Aside from donning matching jackets and acquiring BPPS engraved thermoses, the members also spend a great deal of time marching through fields singing fungusy tunes to encourage growth. Mavis Shroomkip, President of the BPPS announced today that the species is flourishing in record numbers. “We are absolutely stonkingly delighted. Picnics all round, followed by a performance by our famous Fungus Choir”.
Klah is widely recognized amongst world mycologists for its magnificent variety of native funghi, and of these, B. pompompus is a particularly important species, as it has saved the life of many a lost and frozen picnicker – the top of the funghi can be removed and worn as a hat, providing both stylishness and warmth.
If you do come across a Beretus pompomus in your backyard, the BPPS recommends a casual lullaby and some encouraging words could go a long way in saving this valuable species.
In 1903 these mysterious filing cabinets were unearthed from the ruins of an abandoned estate and gifted to the National Museum of Klah. At first they were stored in the back room as part of the Rather Dull But Potentially Historical Collection, where approximately 6 visitors went a year, and 5 of those were normally lost and looking for the bathroom. However, in 1906, a young and enthusiastic cleaner by the name of Hankel opened one of the drawers and discovered a piece of paper with fresh gold ink, which read:
Our dearest Hankel
You have a Glorious Heart.
Really Bring out the Colour
In your Eyes.
Once he had finished blushing, he thought to open the other drawer, where he found several small bottles with labels such as “Hankel’s Ravishing Relish”, “Hankel’s Finest Tom. Sauce” and “Chutney de Hankel”. The Mysterious Filing Cabinets of Compliments and Condiments are now displayed in the foyer to the Museum, where there is always a queue of people wanting personalized compliments and/or condiments. If you do make it to Terbiak, where the Museum is located, the cabinets are well worth the visit.