Royal Master Artist (Nina van der Voorn) is seen here on her way to the annual Moomitzell Celebration & Appreciation, which takes place in the streets of Klah at the end of Autumn. The moomitzell, for those of you not acquainted with this fascinating creature, is very important to the citizens of Klah as it produces and supplies over 90% of their milk. Moomitzell milk is much more nutritious than cow’s milk, and several exciting studies have been conducted suggesting that drinkers of moomitzell milk are six times as likely to successfully flip pancakes than consumers of regular cow’s milk. The moomitzells also donate their milk to the people of Klah year round, in exchange for a one month retreat during the month of June, where they practice yoga, receive pedicures, and read books about their Inner Selves. As part of the Moomitzell Celebration & Appreciation, on the eve of the moomitzells holiday, the citizens of Klah dress themselves in moomitzell costumes and parade the streets. There is normally at least one case of milk coma, however, authorities are pleased to report this year there were no incidents.
Klah House & Garden is excited to announce this month’s special is on the never-before-seen Lair of Snazzlerazz the Terrible. As many readers will know, Snazzlerazz the Terrible has for centuries lived in a deep cave in the North of Klah, luring unsuspecting hedgehogs into his lair by making the cry of a wounded snail, and then devouring them whole. Up until 2012 he regularly found his way onto the annual “Top 10 Most Feared Creatures in Klah” list, and centuries of Klahtian children have had nightmares at the thought of what Snazzlerazz’s mouth must look like to be able to swallow an entire hedgehog, spikes and all – not to mention he hasn’t purchased a toothbrush in living memory. Last August, however, Snazzlerazz had an unfortunate accident when he snagged one of his teeth in a woolen jersey he was putting on, and because he had no friends to help him, spent 3 days blinded by it before managing to free himself. During those three days, in between howling with frustration and running into things, he had an epiphany about the state of his existence. He has now turned his life around, taking morning jogs, adhering to a strict vegan diet, and has even started his own series of workshops, Self-Help with Snazzlerazz: From Hedgehogs to Happiness, which will soon be followed by a book. After years of being shut away in his lair, he has decided to allow the world in via Klah House & Garden. Our own Horasina Medwick travelled there (courtesy of Klah Star Airlines), took this image and reported that the lair “consists of one fabulous open plan room with stone trimmings, natural water features and rock monuments … The floor is finished with bare earth, and a large, glassless window delivers an impressive view to the valley beyond. Several bone windchimes tinkle in the afternoon breeze, and the air is sweet with mildew.” For more fabulous architectural masterpieces, pick up the May edition of Klah House & Garden at your nearest bookstore.