Prince Algernon’s Rocky Face, South Klah. Photo: Nina van der Voorn
The Royal Family was rocked this week by the news that one of their relatives has been discovered turned into limestone and living in a cave in South Klah. In June 1908, Prince Algernon went missing at the tender age of 39 whilst out hunting for scrambleberries, and until last week, not a trace had been found of him since. The Klah Gazette interviewed both the Prince himself, and the man who made the startling discovery, Mr Archibald Manuscript, a reputable librarian who was out fossicking in the south of Klah.
“As a reputable libriarian,” says Mr Manuscript, “I have dedicated my life to the art of librarianship. Unfortunately the library insists on giving me days off, and so on these rather inconvenient days I spend my time roaming the country looking for lost pages and missing book jackets, a difficult task but one that must be done. On Saturday my search took me into a rather magnificent cave just outside of Torkeltum. This cave was easily the size of a respectable town library, and filled with magnificent stalactites and stalagmites. I must say that at first I did not notice the face in the rock, and then all of a sudden it sneezed and I was knocked to the ground by several falling stalactites, with every book I had ever catalogued flashing past my eyes. Miraculously finding myself alive, I was further astounded when the cave first apologized, and then asked me if I had any pikelets on me.”
“I was terribly sad when he didn’t”, said the Prince. “I’ve been sitting here for a hundred years, thinking about pikelets for at least half that time, hoping someone would come in and offer me one. The day I disappeared I was out hunting for scrambleberries to eat with my fresh batch of pikelets. I was so excited I think I accidentally popped the wrong berry in my mouth, for the next thing I knew I was here with not a pikelet in sight, and sadly, it has been that way ever since. It’s the only thing I miss, I’d be quite content here otherwise.”
Readers will be pleased to hear that The Snakebird Gold PikeletCycle Gang, hearing of Prince Algernon’s plight, have now started making weekly trips to deliver him pikelets. (From a country unfortunate enough not to have pikelets? See what you’ve been missing out on here)
*An update from the Department of Dangerous Flora & Fauna: the berry Prince Algernon accidentally ate has been identified as a Stonefaceberry. There have been several other recorded cases of Stonefaceberritis in Klah history, including this unfortunate man below, once an aspiring jazz dancer, now bodiless:
Stay safe, citizens.