Citizens limber up for Jangjilly-Jive as Klahmas looms

Those of you outside of Klah may be unfamiliar with the coming festivities of Klahmas on December 25th, a national holiday where citizens gobble large quantities of small cakes, dance the Jangjilly-Jive and give each other magnificent gifts such as ear-trumpets, spangly hoof-warmers and, most importantly, Official Royal Garments. With less than a week to go, many citizens have begun doing warm up stretches in preparation for the Jangjilly-Jive, and tailors are making a fortune repairing ripped pantaloons as citizens overestimate their athletic abilities. Several readers have written to us concerned that they can’t remember the correct order of Jive moves, and relaying horror stories of poorly timed kicks knocking cakes and hats and great-aunts flying, so we asked renowned dancer Horatio Simpopple to provide a demonstration of the traditional dance:

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Merry Klahmas and Happy Jangjilly-Jiving, citizens.